August 22, 2007, was my cousin Myles’ last day on this fair earth. By “fair earth” I mean it is beautiful and precious, and not even-handed. Myles had been given an extra allotment of both misfortune and strength of spirit. Although he struggled all his life against epilepsy, a comprehensive disease that restricts and alters a lot of your life’s choices, he dwelt on the beautiful and precious things to be found in this life, a positive person focused on the possible.
I have a few pictures of Myles that I want to share.
The first one comes from when he was around 10 years old. This picture shows him at a backyard carnival he organized to raise money for the Muscular Dystrophy Association. It’s a rare child who would even think to do that, much less actually do it!
The second picture shows Myles on the day of his wedding to his beloved Edmy. They loved each other, and everything about them spoke of their love. I had the privilege of singing Schubert’s “Ave Maria” at their wedding, at a beautiful church in Garden City, New York, and I remember it fondly.
Death be not proud
I had done some recordings of John Donne poems for LibriVox, and was choosing my next poem when I heard the news about Myles. I knew I had to choose “Death be not proud”, Donne’s sonnet addressed to Death, telling Death that he really is not as powerful as he thinks himself to be. You can find my reading of it through this link. It ends with Death’s final, ignominious defeat:
One short sleepe past, wee wake eternally,
And Death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die.
To lands where life immortal grows
Myles accidentally drowned while swimming during a wonderful vacation in Hawaii. It’s bad enough when someone you love dies, but for this to happen while they’re on vacation makes the world seem not just difficult, but mean-spirited as well. You’re supposed to come back from the vacation of a lifetime, to tell everyone what a great time you had! If we all get to heaven we’ll finally be able to hear that story from him. But until then, I will imagine him doing something he loved — sailing, but now on heavenly seas in a ship with all its flags flying.
When on my day the evening shadows fall,
I will go down to where a quiet river flows
Into a sea from whence no man returns
And there embark for lands where life immortal grows.
– ThomasTiplady
If you knew Myles or have a reminiscence of him to share, please leave a comment!
Myles was a great big bear to me. He had the purest soul of anyone I know. I don’t believe there was a mean spirited thought it in his head. Myles used to say I reminded him of Betty Boop. When I thought of it, I wasn’t quite sure if that was a compliment or a dig. But knowing Myles, I knew it wasn’t a dig but I never did ask him why he liked to call me that. Ellen explained that he thought I was “cutesy” in my youth. More like a airhead if you ask me. But I am sure he meant it in a wonderful loving way. He also liked to call me LIZA with a Z. Thankfully, I was young at the time and so was Liza. To be called Liza now would definitely not be a compliment even coming from loving Myles. Hopefully, Myles with my mom, Pappy, Aunt Helen, Emily and the rest of those nutso Pollacks we call family will be waiting for us in eternal bliss. Maybe Myles could knock some sense into them all. If anyone could do it, Myles could with his loving spirit. Give a big kiss to my Mom for me and tell her that I miss her terribly.
Until we meet again….Love Betty Boop!!!!!
It was difficult to convince my brother of some things. Swimming with a buddy was one of those things that I could not convince him of. He wanted so much to live like a normal person…he hated the chains of his epilepsy and so he lived his life his way. We all know that life is precious and tenuous and that life dangles between life and death. It is sad he has passed away but in his passing I have come to know things about him I never did when he was living and I have heard people say things about him that were never said when he was alive. I have lost my brother but I have gained great pride in being his sister. Thanks Vin for this site. You are awesome and brilliant and poetic and kind
Ellen Reilly Badome
Miles to me him was the fun boy growing up. He made me laugh. Living on the west coast I didn’t get to see any of my family much so all the memories I have of him are very precious
This is some vacation you are taking! I guess you will tell me all about when I see you again, but you are leaving me with alot of sport responsibilities. I mean you try and teach people about OFFSIDES. I have to scream at the T.V. for the both of us.
You might be in heaven, or downstairs with Gramps, having lobster and caviar, but you are very alive, and you remind me often that you are.
Miss you Fat Freddy!!!